The more you try to be special, the more you get hurt. Just be, just melt and become part of the wind around you, the earth around you, become a part of everything.
You are here only for a while. Atleast when you're in a place like this, where nobody is going to trample on you, let your defenses down. Let it be. Forget your comforts, your sensibilities, your likes and dislikes. Leave all that nonsense and be with me. Live like the snakes. Just crawl around, eat and if you feel like curling up under a tree, do it; at least for a few days, it's worthwhile. I am telling you, a lot of barriers can be removed by going out and living in nature. That's the reason why, when one begins a spiritual journey, they go to the Himalayas or to some other mountain. By merging with nature and living there, the ego will be destroyed, just by doing that. That itself is half the sadhana.
I met some Naga Babas in a place just above Kedar, in the Himalayas, and stayed them for two days. They had run out of money; they were hungry and cold. For two days I took care of their food and spent time with them. I only had on a little woolen in-shirt and a T-shirt. Fortunately, somebody had given me a shawl which was a big blessing. If the shawl hadn't been there, I would have frozen. It was so cold that even my insides were shivering. I could literary feel the stomach bag shiver. These Babas are naked sadhus who are not supposed to wear anything that is stiched. They wrapped something like a shawl over themselves, because it was too cold. They weren't even wearing footwear and they didn't even have money for tea. They were saving the little they had to go to Kumbh Mela.
That was more important for them than having something to eat. When I asked them what their sadhana was, they said they were doing nothing. They just roam about like the nagas, the snakes. Their Guru had told them to spend twelve years in the Himalayas and then he would initiate them. When one is so uni-directional that he can wait for twleve years, being oblivious to harsh weather and difficult living conditions and just wait for his initiation, reaching the highest can't be denied to him.
There's not much for the Guru to do; whether he has something to give or not, these guys will get it anyway because of the very way they have made themselves. They don't need a Guru. If a man has that much patience and stamina that he can stay for twelve years, not knowing when or if the next meal is going to come, just waiting in that terrifying cold in a queue to be initiated, he will get it anyway. That itself is a sadhana. The Guru knows that if he initiates someone the same day the person comes to him, it will be wasted on the man. He will waste the whole opportunity. So he sends hundreds of people to the mountain like this every year. Maybe only some of them make it - many run away because it's a very difficult path. It's very tough to stay in such conditions. When a person is willing to do this, whether he does it or not, that's not the point. If he's willing to go to any length, that man gets it. It is that simple.