'From 4 October 1987, Osho is seriously ill and nearly dies. On 6 November resuming discourses, Osho discloses that his doctors believe he was poisoned while in the custody of the United States government:
"My beloved ones,
I have been away from you much too long. It has been a very painful absence for me. For seven weeks continuously I have been only filled with your love, your patience, your thirst, your longing.
These days were remarkable in many ways. Seven weeks before, I was infected in the ear. It was a simple thing; according to the best expert available here, Dr. Jog, it cures in four days at the most—but it continued for seven weeks. He has never come across such a case in his life. He could not believe it, because no medicine was working. He tried all kinds of medicines, all kinds of ointments. Finally he had to do an operation, but then the wound of the operation was not healing. Doctor Devageet thought perhaps it was something to do with my teeth—he is my dental surgeon—but nothing was found.
My personal physician, Dr. Amrito, immediately informed all sannyasin doctors around the world and asked them to contact the best experts about poisoning, because his own analysis was that unless I have been poisoned there is no possibility to explain why my body has lost all resistance.
And as this idea became stronger in his mind, step by step he started searching into the matter and he found all the symptoms that can happen only if some kind of poison has been given to me.
I myself had been suspicious about it, but I have never mentioned the fact to anybody. The day I was arrested in America for no valid or even invalid reason, they refused to bail me out—although the United States attorney argued for three days and concluded in the end by saying, "I have not been able to prove anything against him, but neither has the other party been able to prove anything."
It was hilarious, because the innocent cannot prove his innocence by any means, and no law in the whole world requires that an innocent person should prove his innocence. The burden was on the government of America, which had arrested me, to prove the reason for my arrest….
Now, Dr. Amrito feels I was poisoned. Perhaps they poisoned me in all the six jails; that was the purpose of not giving me bail and that was the purpose in taking twelve days to complete a journey of six hours. A slow poisoning which will not kill me immediately, but in the long run it will make me weak—and it has made me weak.
Since those twelve days in the American prisons, all sleep has disappeared. Many things started to happen in the body which were not happening before: disappearance of all appetite, food seeming to be absolutely without taste, a churning feeling in the stomach, nausea, a desire to vomit…no feeling of thirst, but a tremendous sense as if one is uprooted.
Something in the nervous system also seems to have been affected. At times there has been a sensation of tingling all over the body which was very strong—particularly in both my hands—and a twitching of the eyelids.
The day I entered the jail I was one hundred and fifty pounds; today I am only one hundred and thirty pounds. My food is the same, but I have been losing weight for no reason at all. And a subtle weakness…And just three months ago, the bone in my right hand started hurting tremendously.
These are all symptoms of certain poisons. My hair has fallen, my eyesight has become weaker, my beard has become as white as my father's beard was when he was seventy-five. They have taken away almost twenty years of my life.
Dr. Amrito immediately informed all the doctors who are my sannyasins to approach all the best poison experts in the world. And one of the doctors, Dr. Dhyan Yogi, immediately took my blood samples, urine samples, samples of my hair, and went to England, to Germany, to the best experts. The European experts suggest that after two years there is no poison which can be detected in the body, but all the symptoms show that a certain poison has been given.
No resistance against disease, falling weight without any reason, hair becoming white before its time, hair falling out without any reason, tingling sensations in the extremities, loss of appetite, tastelessness, nausea, the bone pain in my right hand…One of the experts, a doctor from Germany had come twice to check my bone; he could not figure out what kind of disease it is—because there is no disease. The expert here—Dr. Hardikar, a man who loves me—has been here continuously watching for three months and has not been able to figure out why this pain should be there.
The European experts in England and Germany have suggested a name of a certain poison, thallium. It is a poison of a family of poisons of heavy metals. It disappears from the body in eight weeks' time, but leaves its effects and destroys the body's resistance against diseases. And all the symptoms that I have told you are part of thallium poisoning.
The American experts have suggested a different poison which they think has been used by governments against rebellious individuals. The name of the poison is synthetic heroin. It is one thousand times more dangerous than ordinary heroin. All the symptoms are the same as with thallium, but the poison is more dangerous and after two years there is no possibility to find any trace of it in the body.
The Japanese experts, who have been working in Hiroshima and Nagasaki on atomic radioactivity, have suggested that these symptoms can also be created in a more sophisticated way by radioactive exposure—either while I was asleep, or food can be exposed to radioactivity and there is no way to find any trace of it.
One of the scientists who is immensely interested in me is coming within a week or two. He has been working for twenty years only on radioactivity. His suggestion is that the Americans, the bureaucracy in America, must have used the most sophisticated poisoning which leaves no trace.
Dr. Amrito's own research…and he is a genius as far as medical science is concerned. He is a fellow of the Royal Society of Physicians in England, and he is a rare individual in the sense that he is the youngest man ever accepted by the Royal Society of Physicians as a member. He has all the highest qualifications. His own research is about a fourth, very uncommonly used poison. The name of the poison is fluorocarbon. This poison disappears immediately. Even within minutes, you cannot find any trace in the blood, in the urine, but all these symptoms indicate towards it.
It does not matter which poison has been given to me, but it is certain that I have been poisoned by Ronald Reagan's American government.
There is other circumstantial evidence for it….*
It is absolutely certain that I had been poisoned, and these seven weeks I have been in an immense struggle.
I don't have any reason to live in the world. I have experienced, I have realized the very essence of eternal life, but something else forces me to linger on a little more on this shore before leaving for the further shore beyond.
It is you, it is your love.
It is your eyes, it is your hearts.
And when I say `you' I don't mean only those who are present here; I also mean all those who are spread all over the earth—my people.
I would like these small sprouts to become trees. I would like to see the spring come to you all, the flowering of your ultimate being, the blissfulness and the ecstasy of enlightenment, the taste of the beyond.
These seven weeks you were not aware…you were simply thinking I was sick. Doctor Premda, my eye surgeon, had immediately rushed from Germany with the recentmost medications, but nothing helped against the poisons except my meditations—the only medicine that can transcend all that belongs to matter.
These seven weeks I have been lying in darkness almost the whole day and night, silently witnessing the body and keeping my consciousness unshadowed by anything.
I was struggling with death.
It was a fight between death and your love.
And you should celebrate that your love has been victorious.
This time Jesus has been crucified in America by Christians themselves.
The story is repeated again. I was crucified—this time in America…and these seven weeks I have been struggling against the poison.
And I am happy to declare to you that the crucifixion is over and I am resurrected.
It is symbolic that Jesus is crucified this time in America and is resurrected in India. It is symbolic in many dimensions. It is the victory of love over hate. It is the victory of life over death. It is the victory of East over West. It is the victory of truth over criminals like Ronald Reagan. It is the victory of consciousness over body.
These seven weeks I have been only thinking of you.
It would have been immensely painful for me to leave you in this beautiful state when you have started growing upwards.
My garden is still a nursery.
I would leave the body rejoicingly the day I see you all have blossomed and you have released your fragrance and you have attained your destiny. The day I see the great pilgrimage—from here to here, from crucifixion to resurrection—is over for you all then I can go with a dancing heart and melt into the universal consciousness.
And I will be waiting there for you still.
It is certainly of tremendous importance that even after twenty centuries a man like Jesus will be crucified by Christians themselves. It was a conspiracy of the fundamentalist Christians of America and Ronald Reagan.
Perhaps civilization is still an idea—it has not happened in reality.
I would like my people to transform themselves and through them I would like to bring authentic civilization and humanity to this beautiful planet.
There is only one religion, and that is the religion of love.
There is only one God, and that is the God of celebration, of life, of rejoicing.
This whole earth is one and the whole humanity is one. We are parts of each other.
I have no complaint against those who have poisoned me. I can forgive them easily. They certainly do not know what they go on doing.
It is said that history repeats itself. It is not history that repeats itself; it is the unconsciousness of man, the blindness of man that repeats itself. The day man will be conscious, alert and aware, there will not be any repetition anymore. Socrates will not be poisoned, Jesus will not be crucified, Al-Hillaj Mansoor will not be murdered and butchered. And these are our best flowers, they are our highest peaks. They are our destinies, they are our future. They are our intrinsic potential which has become actual.
I am sure you will not have any anger in your hearts or any hatred for anyone, but just an understanding and a loving forgiveness.
That is the only authentic prayer. And only this kind of prayerfulness can raise humanity to higher levels of consciousness.
I have absolute inner certainty: they may have been able to poison my body, my nervous system, but they cannot destroy my consciousness, they cannot poison my being. And it was good that they have given me a chance to see myself beyond my body, beyond my mind.
These seven weeks have been a fire test. Without your knowing you have always, each moment of these seven weeks, been a tremendous help to me. Without your love it would not have been possible for me to overcome the poison, because without your love there would be no need for me even to struggle. I am fulfilled and absolutely contented; I have arrived home. But I see you are stumbling, groping, and it will be very heartless and uncompassionate for me to leave you in this situation. I would like in all your lives a sunrise, the birds singing and the flowers opening. Other than that, I don't have any reason to be here at all.
Remember it: I am here for you.
That remembrance will help you not to go astray. That remembrance will help you to be aware of the uncivilized world in which we are living, in this madhouse that we call humanity. It will go on reminding you that we have to give birth to a new man and to a new humanity.
This is the tremendous challenge. Those who have guts and intelligence and a desire and a longing to touch the farthest stars…only those very few people have been able to understand me, have been able to become my fellow travelers. I don't have any followers—I have only lovers and friends and fellow travelers.
I would like you all to reach to the same beatitude, to the same blissfulness, to the same ecstasy that has become my very heartbeat. It is also the heartbeat of the whole universe."