You must get rid of this idea that you are a sinner because it is just an idea that gives you trouble. I don’t say that you are a sinner. I know who you really are. You are me, and you are free. The whole world is affected like this. It is in the blood of each generation, and it goes on indefinitely. But it is all imagination. It is a pile of straw that you can destroy with a single match. But you have been so trained to think about sin and good and evil, you even think that setting fire to this pile of straw might also be a sin. It is all these ideas about good and bad, right and wrong, that stop you from striking the match. Your impediments can all go in a bonfire that is lit by a single match. That fire is freedom. Burn everything with this fire of freedom.
ANNAMALAI SWAMI REMEMBERED
Ashram Food, part 5
Echammal
Bhagavan had an ulterior motive in trying to prevent Echammal from bringing food. Although she was a good devotee, she was a very bad cook. Her standard offering of rice and dhal would always be under-cooked, and more often than not it would be permeated with rancid ghee [clarified butter]. Each day she would present this rather unappetizing mixture to Bhagavan in the form of a compressed ball. It was usually so under-cooked that Bhagavan often had difficulty in breaking it down into pieces that were small enough to swallow. About an hour after eating this food Bhagavan would have digestion problems. He would rub his stomach and make loud groaning noises.
If anyone asked him what the trouble was he would say, 'It is my destiny to suffer like this'.
The attendants tried many times to persuade Echammal to cook her food properly, and to use fresh instead of rancid ghee, but she never paid any attention. Bhagavan himself asked her on several occasions to stop bringing this food but she was a stubborn woman who rarely listened to anyone. 'If you force me to stop,' she told Bhagavan, 'I will commit suicide. Then my death will be your responsibility.'
Bhagavan accepted defeat. 'What can I do?' he asked. 'It must be my destiny to eat this food.'
Although Bhagavan requested Echammal to stop bringing food on several occasions, he was not in favor of issuing a formal ban.
When Chinnaswami once forbade her from bringing food, in the interests of Bhagavan's health, Bhagavan refused to enter the dining room when the bell for the midday meal was rung. He never gave any reason but the devotees soon surmised that he was protesting against the ban on Echammal. Echammal by this time had gone back to town, so a delegation of devotees was despatched to fetch her. At first, she was unwilling to come, since she was still angry with the ashram management, but when it was pointed out to her that Bhagavan would probably starve unless she came in person, she agreed to come and break the impasse. When she requested Bhagavan to go to the dining room and eat, he got up and went for his meal. No one in the previous hour had managed to persuade him to move from the old hall. After this incident, Echamma's serving rights were never challenged again.
Echammal continued to serve food but Bhagavan would always look at her in a very disapproving way whenever she approached him in the dining room.
- Living by the words of Bhagavan, p. 74
Ashram Food, part 5
Echammal
Bhagavan had an ulterior motive in trying to prevent Echammal from bringing food. Although she was a good devotee, she was a very bad cook. Her standard offering of rice and dhal would always be under-cooked, and more often than not it would be permeated with rancid ghee [clarified butter]. Each day she would present this rather unappetizing mixture to Bhagavan in the form of a compressed ball. It was usually so under-cooked that Bhagavan often had difficulty in breaking it down into pieces that were small enough to swallow. About an hour after eating this food Bhagavan would have digestion problems. He would rub his stomach and make loud groaning noises.
If anyone asked him what the trouble was he would say, 'It is my destiny to suffer like this'.
The attendants tried many times to persuade Echammal to cook her food properly, and to use fresh instead of rancid ghee, but she never paid any attention. Bhagavan himself asked her on several occasions to stop bringing this food but she was a stubborn woman who rarely listened to anyone. 'If you force me to stop,' she told Bhagavan, 'I will commit suicide. Then my death will be your responsibility.'
Bhagavan accepted defeat. 'What can I do?' he asked. 'It must be my destiny to eat this food.'
Although Bhagavan requested Echammal to stop bringing food on several occasions, he was not in favor of issuing a formal ban.
When Chinnaswami once forbade her from bringing food, in the interests of Bhagavan's health, Bhagavan refused to enter the dining room when the bell for the midday meal was rung. He never gave any reason but the devotees soon surmised that he was protesting against the ban on Echammal. Echammal by this time had gone back to town, so a delegation of devotees was despatched to fetch her. At first, she was unwilling to come, since she was still angry with the ashram management, but when it was pointed out to her that Bhagavan would probably starve unless she came in person, she agreed to come and break the impasse. When she requested Bhagavan to go to the dining room and eat, he got up and went for his meal. No one in the previous hour had managed to persuade him to move from the old hall. After this incident, Echamma's serving rights were never challenged again.
Echammal continued to serve food but Bhagavan would always look at her in a very disapproving way whenever she approached him in the dining room.
- Living by the words of Bhagavan, p. 74
CONVERSATIONS WITH ANNAMALAI SWAMI
Q: I went to Skandashram yesterday. As I sat there, for no reason at all, tears started to come. I cried and cried. I am a little puzzled by this. Why should something like this happen?
AS: A similar thing happened to me once. When I was very young I went to the town and the temple where Siva first appeared to Manikkavachagar. When I sat in the temple tears flowed down my face.
Tears like this are often a sign of grace. When your tears are for God rather than for worldly things, the mind and the heart are purified. If you want God so much that you cry when you call on Him, He will surely come to you. When a baby cries, its mother comes to feed it. When a devotee cries because he is hungry for grace. God sends the grace to nourish him.
— Living by the words of Bhagavan, p. 291
Q: I went to Skandashram yesterday. As I sat there, for no reason at all, tears started to come. I cried and cried. I am a little puzzled by this. Why should something like this happen?
AS: A similar thing happened to me once. When I was very young I went to the town and the temple where Siva first appeared to Manikkavachagar. When I sat in the temple tears flowed down my face.
Tears like this are often a sign of grace. When your tears are for God rather than for worldly things, the mind and the heart are purified. If you want God so much that you cry when you call on Him, He will surely come to you. When a baby cries, its mother comes to feed it. When a devotee cries because he is hungry for grace. God sends the grace to nourish him.
— Living by the words of Bhagavan, p. 291
CONFIDENCE WILL COME WITH EXPERIENCE
Question: When I meet a European with some education and talk to him about a guru and his teachings, his reaction is: 'the man must be mad to teach such nonsense'. What am I to tell him?
Maharaj: Take him to himself. Show him, how little he knows himself, how he takes the most absurd statements about himself for holy truth.
He is told that he is the body, was born, will die, has parents, duties; learns to like what others like and fear what others fear. Totally a creature of heredity and society, he lives by memory and acts by habits. Ignorant of himself and his true interests, he pursues false aims and is always frustrated. His life and death are meaningless and painful, and there seems to be no way.
Then tell him, there is a way out within his easy reach, not a conversion to another set of ideas, but a liberation from all ideas and patterns of living. Don't tell him about gurus and disciples—this way of thinking is not for him.
His is an inner path, he is moved by an inner urge and guided by an inner light. Invite him to rebel and he will respond. Do not try to impress on him that so-and-so is a realized man and can be accepted as a guru. As long as he does not trust himself, he cannot trust another. And confidence will come with experience.
- I AM THAT, ch. 84
Question: When I meet a European with some education and talk to him about a guru and his teachings, his reaction is: 'the man must be mad to teach such nonsense'. What am I to tell him?
Maharaj: Take him to himself. Show him, how little he knows himself, how he takes the most absurd statements about himself for holy truth.
He is told that he is the body, was born, will die, has parents, duties; learns to like what others like and fear what others fear. Totally a creature of heredity and society, he lives by memory and acts by habits. Ignorant of himself and his true interests, he pursues false aims and is always frustrated. His life and death are meaningless and painful, and there seems to be no way.
Then tell him, there is a way out within his easy reach, not a conversion to another set of ideas, but a liberation from all ideas and patterns of living. Don't tell him about gurus and disciples—this way of thinking is not for him.
His is an inner path, he is moved by an inner urge and guided by an inner light. Invite him to rebel and he will respond. Do not try to impress on him that so-and-so is a realized man and can be accepted as a guru. As long as he does not trust himself, he cannot trust another. And confidence will come with experience.
- I AM THAT, ch. 84
The Self is totally formless. That which is most subtle and most powerful knows all, yet, all the five elements do not know Him. The Self knows all. He is the knower. The Self is self-existent, and is not supported by anything.
— Master of Self-Realization - Discourse 22
— Master of Self-Realization - Discourse 22
Those that love rumors hate a peaceful life.
Don't move the way fear makes you move.
Move the way Love makes you move.
Move the way Love makes you move.
Spirituality is not to be learned by flight from the world, or by running away from things, or by turning solitary and going apart from the world. Rather, we must learn an inner solitude wherever or with whomsoever we may be. We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.
TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ONESELF
29th December 1971
Q: You were telling us that there are many self-styled gurus, but a real guru is very rare. There are many jnanis who imagine themselves realized, but all they have is book knowledge and a high opinion of themselves. Sometimes they impress, even fascinate, attract disciples and make them waste their time in useless practices. After some years, when the disciple takes stock of himself, he finds no change. When he complains to his teacher, he gets the usual rebuke that he did not try hard enough. The blame is on the lack of faith and love in the heart of the disciple, while in reality, the blame is on the guru, who had no business in accepting disciples and raising hopes. How to protect oneself against such 'gurus'?
Maharaj: Why be so concerned with others? Whoever may be the guru, if he is pure of heart and acts in good faith, he will do his disciples no harm. If there is no progress, the fault lies with the disciples, their laziness, and lack of self-control. On the other hand, if the disciple is earnest and applies himself intelligently and with zest to his sadhana, he is bound to meet a more qualified teacher, who will take him further.
Your question flows from three false assumptions: that one needs to concern oneself with others; that one can evaluate another and that the progress of the disciple is the task and responsibility of his guru. In reality, the guru's role is only to instruct and encourage; the disciple is totally responsible for himself.
— I AM THAT ch. 84
29th December 1971
Q: You were telling us that there are many self-styled gurus, but a real guru is very rare. There are many jnanis who imagine themselves realized, but all they have is book knowledge and a high opinion of themselves. Sometimes they impress, even fascinate, attract disciples and make them waste their time in useless practices. After some years, when the disciple takes stock of himself, he finds no change. When he complains to his teacher, he gets the usual rebuke that he did not try hard enough. The blame is on the lack of faith and love in the heart of the disciple, while in reality, the blame is on the guru, who had no business in accepting disciples and raising hopes. How to protect oneself against such 'gurus'?
Maharaj: Why be so concerned with others? Whoever may be the guru, if he is pure of heart and acts in good faith, he will do his disciples no harm. If there is no progress, the fault lies with the disciples, their laziness, and lack of self-control. On the other hand, if the disciple is earnest and applies himself intelligently and with zest to his sadhana, he is bound to meet a more qualified teacher, who will take him further.
Your question flows from three false assumptions: that one needs to concern oneself with others; that one can evaluate another and that the progress of the disciple is the task and responsibility of his guru. In reality, the guru's role is only to instruct and encourage; the disciple is totally responsible for himself.
— I AM THAT ch. 84
REALIZATION IS NOT CONCEPTUAL
Q.: It is possible that I have unwittingly already Realized, but do not realize that fact, so to speak?
Bhagavan: Impossible.
Q.: What does the practice of vichara feel like whilst one is actually engaged in it?
B.: Go on seeing, "What is this 'me'?'. But doing it intellectually is not the right way.
Q.: All mental activity does involve the intellect.
B.: Yes. This is cessation of mental activity. Realization is not 'you' attaining to some exalted state. Realization is the irreversible death of 'you'.
Q.: You mean death of the ego: for I am the Self, and cannot die.
B.: It is precisely this wretched misunderstanding that causes so many sadhakas to go astray.
Q.: I don't understand.
B.: You are the ego until the ego has been destroyed. What is the use of intellectually denying the existence of the ego while still remaining as it? Why falsely arrogate yourself to the status of being the Heart? Is it the Heart who is talking to me now?
Q.: Am I not the Self?
B.: Whose self are you?
Q.: I am the Self of myself.
B.: Is there, or is there not, in you an intermediary entity subsisting on thought forms?
Q.: Yes. Thoughts come. But they are not apart from the Self: that is what I tell myself.
B.: No, that is not the way.
Q.: What am I doing wrong? Please tell me.
B.: You are still operating on the plane of the intellect.
Q.: Tell me how I can get past it.
B.: 'I' cannot get past it. 'I' is 'it'.
Q.: So I should learn to overcome myself?
B.: No. Learn to subside into the actual Self.
Q.: But how?
B.: Resign yourself to pure Subjective Consciousness.
Q.: Effort is needed to remain in that state. There is the one that makes the effort, his presence is unavoidable.
B.: Yes; the aham-vritti can only be further and further attenuated, but can never be completely destroyed by effort because the one making that effort still remains.
However, when a certain critical radius of introversion is reached, the Heart reaches over and pulls you inside, finishing the job. In order for this to happen, however, the aham-vritti should be reduced into a single, infinitesimal, dimension-bereft point. The aham-vritti can finally be torpefied into this point-like form only by means of deploying a Sadhana in which the one making the effort is the same as that in relation to which the effort is made. There is only one such Sadhana: Who am I?.
'I' is not merely a thought. It is a deeply entrenched idea, which thus requires a deep incision to uproot. Therefore, the wisest thing for one to do is to catch hold of this foundational thought, the 'I'-thought, and vivisect it - what is this "me"? - giving thereby no chance to other thoughts to distract one. There lies the true value of the vichara and its efficacy in getting rid of the mind.
— Aham Sphurana
Q.: It is possible that I have unwittingly already Realized, but do not realize that fact, so to speak?
Bhagavan: Impossible.
Q.: What does the practice of vichara feel like whilst one is actually engaged in it?
B.: Go on seeing, "What is this 'me'?'. But doing it intellectually is not the right way.
Q.: All mental activity does involve the intellect.
B.: Yes. This is cessation of mental activity. Realization is not 'you' attaining to some exalted state. Realization is the irreversible death of 'you'.
Q.: You mean death of the ego: for I am the Self, and cannot die.
B.: It is precisely this wretched misunderstanding that causes so many sadhakas to go astray.
Q.: I don't understand.
B.: You are the ego until the ego has been destroyed. What is the use of intellectually denying the existence of the ego while still remaining as it? Why falsely arrogate yourself to the status of being the Heart? Is it the Heart who is talking to me now?
Q.: Am I not the Self?
B.: Whose self are you?
Q.: I am the Self of myself.
B.: Is there, or is there not, in you an intermediary entity subsisting on thought forms?
Q.: Yes. Thoughts come. But they are not apart from the Self: that is what I tell myself.
B.: No, that is not the way.
Q.: What am I doing wrong? Please tell me.
B.: You are still operating on the plane of the intellect.
Q.: Tell me how I can get past it.
B.: 'I' cannot get past it. 'I' is 'it'.
Q.: So I should learn to overcome myself?
B.: No. Learn to subside into the actual Self.
Q.: But how?
B.: Resign yourself to pure Subjective Consciousness.
Q.: Effort is needed to remain in that state. There is the one that makes the effort, his presence is unavoidable.
B.: Yes; the aham-vritti can only be further and further attenuated, but can never be completely destroyed by effort because the one making that effort still remains.
However, when a certain critical radius of introversion is reached, the Heart reaches over and pulls you inside, finishing the job. In order for this to happen, however, the aham-vritti should be reduced into a single, infinitesimal, dimension-bereft point. The aham-vritti can finally be torpefied into this point-like form only by means of deploying a Sadhana in which the one making the effort is the same as that in relation to which the effort is made. There is only one such Sadhana: Who am I?.
'I' is not merely a thought. It is a deeply entrenched idea, which thus requires a deep incision to uproot. Therefore, the wisest thing for one to do is to catch hold of this foundational thought, the 'I'-thought, and vivisect it - what is this "me"? - giving thereby no chance to other thoughts to distract one. There lies the true value of the vichara and its efficacy in getting rid of the mind.
— Aham Sphurana
Вопрос: Подразумевает ли Само-реализация также и оккультные силы?
Махарши: Атман - это наиболее сокровенное и вечное Бытие, тогда как сиддхи являются посторонними. Одно требует усилия для обретения, а другое - нет.
Силы ищет ум, который должен сохраняться живым, проворным, в то время как Атман осознаётся, когда ум разрушен. Эго заставляет вас воспринимать других, а в его отсутствие других уже не видно. Атман находится за пределами эго и осознаётся после того, как эго уничтожено. Уничтожение эго заставляет человека не воспринимать других. Как может возникнуть вопрос о других и какова польза от оккультных сил для Существа, достигшего Само-реализации?
Самореализация может сопровождаться оккультными силами или может приходить без них. Если человек искал такие силы до Реализации, то он может получить их после Реализации. Есть и другие, которые не ищут оккультных сил и стремятся только к Само-реализации. Они не проявляют таких сил.
Махарши: Атман - это наиболее сокровенное и вечное Бытие, тогда как сиддхи являются посторонними. Одно требует усилия для обретения, а другое - нет.
Силы ищет ум, который должен сохраняться живым, проворным, в то время как Атман осознаётся, когда ум разрушен. Эго заставляет вас воспринимать других, а в его отсутствие других уже не видно. Атман находится за пределами эго и осознаётся после того, как эго уничтожено. Уничтожение эго заставляет человека не воспринимать других. Как может возникнуть вопрос о других и какова польза от оккультных сил для Существа, достигшего Само-реализации?
Самореализация может сопровождаться оккультными силами или может приходить без них. Если человек искал такие силы до Реализации, то он может получить их после Реализации. Есть и другие, которые не ищут оккультных сил и стремятся только к Само-реализации. Они не проявляют таких сил.
Очень давно, когда в Ашраме было не так много людей, один из служителей Бхагавана обычно ждал, пока Бхагаван закончит еду, а затем сам ел с листа Бхагавана. Постепенно ашрамиты и давние преданные начали просить этот лист. До тех пор пока конкуренция в притязаниях на лист не приняла серьёзную фор- му, Бхагаван не уделял этому много внимания. Перед листом должны были также ставить тарелку для мытья его рук после еды. Как только, помыв руки, он уходил, воду также обычно за- бирали словно тиртху (святую воду). Со временем эти две прак- тики ашрамитов вышли за пределы территории Ашрама и рас- пространились также на Рамана Нагар [жилой район неподалёку от Шри Раманашрама]. Однажды мать одного довольно состоятельного преданного пришла в столовую Ашрама в обеденное время и встала рядом с Бхагаваном. Увидев её, Бхагаван спросил: “Почему вы не сади- тесь поесть?” Она не села. Бхагаван понял цель её прихода, но сохранял спокойствие, как если бы ничего не знал. С другой стороны от него стояла, с игрушкой в руке, внучка другого пре- данного, лет восьми. Заметив также и её, Бхагаван сказал: “По- чему ты тоже стоишь? Садись и кушай”. “Нет”, — ответила она. “Тогда почему ты пришла? А для чего эта неваляшка у тебя?” — спросил Бхагаван. В конце концов, она была наивным ребёнком и поэтому, не зная, что выдаёт секрет, сказала: “Бабушка посла- ла меня принести святую воду”. Бхагаван уже не мог сдерживать гнев и поэтому произнёс: “Я понимаю. Тут очень важное дело. Этот ребёнок ждёт святую воду, а та женщина — лист; это так, не правда ли?” Когда он спросил внушительным тоном, кто-то из находящихся поблизости ответил: “Да”. “Я уже некоторое
время замечаю эту бессмыслицу, — сказал он. — Они думают, что Свами сидит в Холле с закрытыми глазами и не обращает внимания на эти вещи. Все эти дни я не хотел вмешиваться в такие дела, но им, кажется, не будет предела. Люди стоят в оче- реди за остатками пищи и воды! Имейте в виду! С этого момен- та я не собираюсь после еды мыть руки в поставленной тарелке и нигде поблизости. Я не буду, уходя, оставлять здесь лист, на котором ел. Я сам унесу его и выброшу. Вы поняли? Вы все со- бираетесь вместе и делаете эти вещи. Сказанное — только на- казание”. Произнеся это и повторив несколько других требований, Бхагаван после еды согнул свой лист, а затем поднялся с исполь- зованным листом в руке. Как ни просили его многие, он никому из них этот лист не отдал, а поднялся на Гору и, завернув за угол, выбросил его и потом вымыл там руки. В конце концов, ашрами- ты взмолились и заверили его, что оставят эти предосудительные действия. Он сказал: “Когда каждый удаляет свой использованный лист и выбрасывает его, почему мне следует оставлять свой?” До 1943 года каждый, после еды, забирал свой лист и выбрасывал его. Эта практика была изменена только после этого инцидента. После того, как все ашрамиты поклялись, что будут сами удалять листы и выбрасывать их вместе с листом Бхагавана, он неохотно начал оставлять в столовой и свой лист. Но даже до сегодняшнего дня он после еды моет руки вовне, около ступенек, ведущих в Холл. Если кто-нибудь просит его помыть руки в какой-нибудь тарелке, он обычно говорит: “А вы обеспечили всех этих людей тарелками? Если все остальные их не имеют, то по- чему я должен требовать одну?” Что мы можем ему ответить?
Письма из Шри Раманашрама
время замечаю эту бессмыслицу, — сказал он. — Они думают, что Свами сидит в Холле с закрытыми глазами и не обращает внимания на эти вещи. Все эти дни я не хотел вмешиваться в такие дела, но им, кажется, не будет предела. Люди стоят в оче- реди за остатками пищи и воды! Имейте в виду! С этого момен- та я не собираюсь после еды мыть руки в поставленной тарелке и нигде поблизости. Я не буду, уходя, оставлять здесь лист, на котором ел. Я сам унесу его и выброшу. Вы поняли? Вы все со- бираетесь вместе и делаете эти вещи. Сказанное — только на- казание”. Произнеся это и повторив несколько других требований, Бхагаван после еды согнул свой лист, а затем поднялся с исполь- зованным листом в руке. Как ни просили его многие, он никому из них этот лист не отдал, а поднялся на Гору и, завернув за угол, выбросил его и потом вымыл там руки. В конце концов, ашрами- ты взмолились и заверили его, что оставят эти предосудительные действия. Он сказал: “Когда каждый удаляет свой использованный лист и выбрасывает его, почему мне следует оставлять свой?” До 1943 года каждый, после еды, забирал свой лист и выбрасывал его. Эта практика была изменена только после этого инцидента. После того, как все ашрамиты поклялись, что будут сами удалять листы и выбрасывать их вместе с листом Бхагавана, он неохотно начал оставлять в столовой и свой лист. Но даже до сегодняшнего дня он после еды моет руки вовне, около ступенек, ведущих в Холл. Если кто-нибудь просит его помыть руки в какой-нибудь тарелке, он обычно говорит: “А вы обеспечили всех этих людей тарелками? Если все остальные их не имеют, то по- чему я должен требовать одну?” Что мы можем ему ответить?
Письма из Шри Раманашрама
WITNESSING IS NOT VICHARA - VICHARA IS THE FINAL DOOR
Q.: So, as respects Bhagavan's method of remaining as Subjective Consciousness, I am supposed to witness without entertaining the notion that I am witnessing - is that right?
B.: Who is that one who remains as Subjective Consciousness? Is Subjective Consciousness proclaiming that he is going to remain as Subjective Consciousness? You see the absurdity of it.
So, your task is not to remain as Subjective Consciousness; your task is to keep yourself out of the way so that Subjective Consciousness remains merely as Itself without getting impeded by you.
As for witnessing, there is nothing to witness. IT IS. Simple Being.
When ideas create modifications in consciousness, which is the essence or substance of the mind, another idea made of the same substance is used as a tool with which to crush (annihilate) all other ideas; finally, this tool is also destroyed. That is why the example of the stick used to stir the burning funeral pyre is furnished.
Q.: So merely watching (observing) consciousness with a placid, thought-free mind is not a sadhana that suffices to destroy the mind and bestow Realization?
B.: If the aspirant is unremittingly sincere in its pursuit, the practice that you mention will in due course by itself cause sufficient introversion of mind to empower (facilitate) the mind to become ready for successfully investigating 'Who am I?'. However, it is erroneous to imagine that the two practices are one and the same, or even similar.
Q.: But they both aim at ensuring that the sadhaka remains attending to mere consciousness; how can they be distinct from each other?
B.: The act of attending to pure Subjective Consciousness alone still involves that one who undertakes such Sadhana. WHO IS HE?
Q.: But there is also that one who investigates 'Who am I?'.
B.: He is both the subject and object of his investigation.
That is why in the end, everybody must come only through this gate before reaching the citadel of the Heart. Who am I? is the only Sadhana which is such that the one making it is the same as the one in relation to whom it is made.
The snake must bite its own tail. Otherwise, he will not die. Neophytes who complain that 'Who am I?' is not working are given the suggestion that they should watch the thought 'I', or that they should remain attending to Subjective Consciousness alone. Still less mature souls are told to repeat 'I', 'I' mentally, together with simultaneously concentrating on the sense of personality associated with 'I', that is to say with the mental concept of 'myself'. Those who are not able to do even this should do pranayama, japa, moorthy-dhyana, or hatha-yoga. None of these practices, however, could possibly serve as a substitute for vichara, nor is it meaningful to confuse any of them with vichara or to imagine any of them to be the same as vichara.
Vichara is the final door. The 'I' attends to himself, not to his Self. The ego attends to the ego and to nothing else; that is vichara. Attending to Subjective Consciousness, while it is a method having its beneficial use, is certainly NOT the same as vichara.
- Aham Sphurana
Q.: So, as respects Bhagavan's method of remaining as Subjective Consciousness, I am supposed to witness without entertaining the notion that I am witnessing - is that right?
B.: Who is that one who remains as Subjective Consciousness? Is Subjective Consciousness proclaiming that he is going to remain as Subjective Consciousness? You see the absurdity of it.
So, your task is not to remain as Subjective Consciousness; your task is to keep yourself out of the way so that Subjective Consciousness remains merely as Itself without getting impeded by you.
As for witnessing, there is nothing to witness. IT IS. Simple Being.
When ideas create modifications in consciousness, which is the essence or substance of the mind, another idea made of the same substance is used as a tool with which to crush (annihilate) all other ideas; finally, this tool is also destroyed. That is why the example of the stick used to stir the burning funeral pyre is furnished.
Q.: So merely watching (observing) consciousness with a placid, thought-free mind is not a sadhana that suffices to destroy the mind and bestow Realization?
B.: If the aspirant is unremittingly sincere in its pursuit, the practice that you mention will in due course by itself cause sufficient introversion of mind to empower (facilitate) the mind to become ready for successfully investigating 'Who am I?'. However, it is erroneous to imagine that the two practices are one and the same, or even similar.
Q.: But they both aim at ensuring that the sadhaka remains attending to mere consciousness; how can they be distinct from each other?
B.: The act of attending to pure Subjective Consciousness alone still involves that one who undertakes such Sadhana. WHO IS HE?
Q.: But there is also that one who investigates 'Who am I?'.
B.: He is both the subject and object of his investigation.
That is why in the end, everybody must come only through this gate before reaching the citadel of the Heart. Who am I? is the only Sadhana which is such that the one making it is the same as the one in relation to whom it is made.
The snake must bite its own tail. Otherwise, he will not die. Neophytes who complain that 'Who am I?' is not working are given the suggestion that they should watch the thought 'I', or that they should remain attending to Subjective Consciousness alone. Still less mature souls are told to repeat 'I', 'I' mentally, together with simultaneously concentrating on the sense of personality associated with 'I', that is to say with the mental concept of 'myself'. Those who are not able to do even this should do pranayama, japa, moorthy-dhyana, or hatha-yoga. None of these practices, however, could possibly serve as a substitute for vichara, nor is it meaningful to confuse any of them with vichara or to imagine any of them to be the same as vichara.
Vichara is the final door. The 'I' attends to himself, not to his Self. The ego attends to the ego and to nothing else; that is vichara. Attending to Subjective Consciousness, while it is a method having its beneficial use, is certainly NOT the same as vichara.
- Aham Sphurana
G.V. SUBBARAMAYYA,
part 15
During Christmas, when I again visited the ashram, I asked Sri Bhagavan what he had thought on reading my telegram. He merely said, 'Yes, I read your message and also noted that the clock was then striking seven'.
I persisted, asking, 'Bhagavan, did you not think that you must do something to save the child?'
Sri Bhagavan's reply was immediate and direct: 'Even the thought to save the child is a sankalpa [an act of will or intention] and one who has any sankalpa is no jnani. In fact, such thinking is unnecessary. The moment a jnani's eye falls upon a thing, there starts a 'divine, automatic action, which itself leads to the highest good.'
The conversation was all in Telugu except the phrase 'divine, automatic action' which Sri Bhagavan himself uttered in English. The morning before I left, Dr Syed, philosophy professor of Allahabad University, put a question:
'Bhagavan, what is the purpose of creation?'
Usually, Bhagavan gave his replies in Telugu, Tamil or Malayalam and then got them interpreted. This time Sri Bhagavan spoke directly in English.
He put a counter question: 'Can the eye see itself?'
Dr Syed replied, 'Of course not. It can see everything else, but not itself.'
Then Sri Bhagavan asked, 'But what if it wants to see itself?' Dr Syed paused and thought for a while before answering, 'It can see itself only if it is reflected in a mirror'.
Sri Bhagavan seized the answer and commented. 'That is it! Creation is the mirror for the eye to see itself.'
I intervened at this point and asked whether Bhagavan meant e-y-e or 'I'. Sri Bhagavan said that we could take it figuratively as e-y-e and literally as 'I'.
Several years later, when a visitor asked the same question:
'What is the purpose of creation?' - Sri Bhagavan replied, 'To know the inquirer is the purpose. The different theories of creation are due to the different stages of mind of their authors.'
- The Power of the Presence, III
part 15
During Christmas, when I again visited the ashram, I asked Sri Bhagavan what he had thought on reading my telegram. He merely said, 'Yes, I read your message and also noted that the clock was then striking seven'.
I persisted, asking, 'Bhagavan, did you not think that you must do something to save the child?'
Sri Bhagavan's reply was immediate and direct: 'Even the thought to save the child is a sankalpa [an act of will or intention] and one who has any sankalpa is no jnani. In fact, such thinking is unnecessary. The moment a jnani's eye falls upon a thing, there starts a 'divine, automatic action, which itself leads to the highest good.'
The conversation was all in Telugu except the phrase 'divine, automatic action' which Sri Bhagavan himself uttered in English. The morning before I left, Dr Syed, philosophy professor of Allahabad University, put a question:
'Bhagavan, what is the purpose of creation?'
Usually, Bhagavan gave his replies in Telugu, Tamil or Malayalam and then got them interpreted. This time Sri Bhagavan spoke directly in English.
He put a counter question: 'Can the eye see itself?'
Dr Syed replied, 'Of course not. It can see everything else, but not itself.'
Then Sri Bhagavan asked, 'But what if it wants to see itself?' Dr Syed paused and thought for a while before answering, 'It can see itself only if it is reflected in a mirror'.
Sri Bhagavan seized the answer and commented. 'That is it! Creation is the mirror for the eye to see itself.'
I intervened at this point and asked whether Bhagavan meant e-y-e or 'I'. Sri Bhagavan said that we could take it figuratively as e-y-e and literally as 'I'.
Several years later, when a visitor asked the same question:
'What is the purpose of creation?' - Sri Bhagavan replied, 'To know the inquirer is the purpose. The different theories of creation are due to the different stages of mind of their authors.'
- The Power of the Presence, III
Один из почитателей спросил Махарши о некоторых неприветливых заявлениях, сделанных неким человеком, хорошо известным Махарши.
Mахарши. Я разрешил ему поступить так. Я ему все разрешил. Пусть делает что хочет. Пусть другие занимаются тяжбой, только пусть они оставят меня в покое. Если из-за этих слухов никто не придёт ко мне, то я буду считать это великим служением мне. Более того, если он займется публикацией книг, содержащих слухи обо мне, и если он получит деньги от их продажи, то это действительно хорошо. Такие книги разойдутся ещё быстрее и в больших количествах, чем другие. Он оказывает мне очень хорошую услугу.
(Сказав это, Он рассмеялся.)
Mахарши. Я разрешил ему поступить так. Я ему все разрешил. Пусть делает что хочет. Пусть другие занимаются тяжбой, только пусть они оставят меня в покое. Если из-за этих слухов никто не придёт ко мне, то я буду считать это великим служением мне. Более того, если он займется публикацией книг, содержащих слухи обо мне, и если он получит деньги от их продажи, то это действительно хорошо. Такие книги разойдутся ещё быстрее и в больших количествах, чем другие. Он оказывает мне очень хорошую услугу.
(Сказав это, Он рассмеялся.)
To be human is to be powerful. We have the ability to do great things because our fundamental nature is positive.
Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.
- Мне поставили диагноз «рак». Я не знаю, стоит ли мне бороться, но также мне кажется неправильным просто сдаться. Я практиковал медитацию випассана и читал такие книги, как «Я Есть То». Вы можете мне что-нибудь посоветовать?
- Ты бы приехала в Лакнау, если бы у тебя не было этой болезни?
- Нет.
- Ты бы выполняла випассану и читала книги Нисаргадатты Махараджа?
- Может быть.
- Может быть тоже нет. «Может быть» - это сомнение, и те, кто испытывают сомнения, не приняли решения, и они не находятся здесь. Так что эта болезнь благоприятна в том смысле, что она привела тебя к пониманию того, как должна измениться твоя жизнь, и она привела тебя сюда. Если бы не эта болезнь, ты продолжала бы наслаждаться жизнью со своими возлюбленными и не обратилась бы лицом к своему Я. Эта болезнь благоприятна, поскольку она поможет тебе не бояться смерти.
Жизнь должна завершиться, и не имеет значения, когда это произойдет, сегодня или завтра. Ты должна знать, что это тело не имеет особой важности, и если оно износится, тебе придется заменить его новым. Оно подобно футболке: как только она снашивается, ты выбрасываешь ее и надеваешь новую. Эта жизнь благословенна, если ты знаешь, что ты не являешься ни телом, ни умом. Если ты знаешь это, где может поселиться какая-либо болезнь? Болезнь воздействует только на тело, и если ты знаешь, что не являешься телом, она не может потревожить тебя. Так что забудь обо всем, что связано с твоим телом. Оставь все. Забудь все чувства и объекты чувств. Что тогда остается? Что остается, если ты оставляешь все, что связано с твоим умом, телом и чувствами?
- Просто здесь.
- Итак, всегда думай об этом «просто здесь». Ходишь ли ты, говоришь ли, пребываешь в бодрствующем состоянии, видишь ли сон или нет - думай только о «просто здесь», и в результате ты будешь знать «я есть ЭТО». Вот какова цель жизни. Мы все находимся здесь, для того чтобы узнать, кто наш Отец, и где он обитает. Мы все пришли сюда, для того чтобы вернуться к нему.
Это то, чем мы занимаемся на Сатсанге. Мы напоминаем друг другу о том, что мы являемся лишь своим собственным Я и ничем иным. Ты должна определить, кем является твое собственное Я. Говори о нем, думай о нем, и оно предстанет перед тобой и раскроет себя. Однако ты должна быть очень искренней, а твое желание - чисто, чтобы встретиться с ним. Ты должна принять решение встретиться с ТЕМ, что ты упускала в течение многих поколений. Это желание должно быть очень сильным. Оставайся здесь и посмотри, что произойдет.
- Ты бы приехала в Лакнау, если бы у тебя не было этой болезни?
- Нет.
- Ты бы выполняла випассану и читала книги Нисаргадатты Махараджа?
- Может быть.
- Может быть тоже нет. «Может быть» - это сомнение, и те, кто испытывают сомнения, не приняли решения, и они не находятся здесь. Так что эта болезнь благоприятна в том смысле, что она привела тебя к пониманию того, как должна измениться твоя жизнь, и она привела тебя сюда. Если бы не эта болезнь, ты продолжала бы наслаждаться жизнью со своими возлюбленными и не обратилась бы лицом к своему Я. Эта болезнь благоприятна, поскольку она поможет тебе не бояться смерти.
Жизнь должна завершиться, и не имеет значения, когда это произойдет, сегодня или завтра. Ты должна знать, что это тело не имеет особой важности, и если оно износится, тебе придется заменить его новым. Оно подобно футболке: как только она снашивается, ты выбрасываешь ее и надеваешь новую. Эта жизнь благословенна, если ты знаешь, что ты не являешься ни телом, ни умом. Если ты знаешь это, где может поселиться какая-либо болезнь? Болезнь воздействует только на тело, и если ты знаешь, что не являешься телом, она не может потревожить тебя. Так что забудь обо всем, что связано с твоим телом. Оставь все. Забудь все чувства и объекты чувств. Что тогда остается? Что остается, если ты оставляешь все, что связано с твоим умом, телом и чувствами?
- Просто здесь.
- Итак, всегда думай об этом «просто здесь». Ходишь ли ты, говоришь ли, пребываешь в бодрствующем состоянии, видишь ли сон или нет - думай только о «просто здесь», и в результате ты будешь знать «я есть ЭТО». Вот какова цель жизни. Мы все находимся здесь, для того чтобы узнать, кто наш Отец, и где он обитает. Мы все пришли сюда, для того чтобы вернуться к нему.
Это то, чем мы занимаемся на Сатсанге. Мы напоминаем друг другу о том, что мы являемся лишь своим собственным Я и ничем иным. Ты должна определить, кем является твое собственное Я. Говори о нем, думай о нем, и оно предстанет перед тобой и раскроет себя. Однако ты должна быть очень искренней, а твое желание - чисто, чтобы встретиться с ним. Ты должна принять решение встретиться с ТЕМ, что ты упускала в течение многих поколений. Это желание должно быть очень сильным. Оставайся здесь и посмотри, что произойдет.
The very idea of destruction of reality is ridiculous; the destroyer is always more real than the destroyed. Reality is the ultimate destroyer. All separation, every kind of estrangement and alienation is false. All is one — this is the ultimate solution of every conflict.
I remember hearing a talk from a very famous Tibetan teacher, a man who had spent many years in a small, stone hut in the Himalayas. He was crippled, and so he couldn’t use either one of his legs. He told a story of how a big boulder fell on his legs and broke them, and he spent many years in a stone hut, because there was really nothing that he could do. It was hard for someone with broken legs to get around much in the Himalayas.
He told the story of being in this small hut, and he said, “To be locked in that small hut for so many years was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It was a great grace, because if it wasn’t for that, I would never have turned within, and I would never have found the freedom that revealed itself there. So I look back at the losing of my legs as one of the most profound and lucky events of my whole life.”
Normally, most of us wouldn’t think that losing the use of our legs would be grace. We have certain ideas about how we want grace to appear. But grace is simply that which opens our hearts, that which has the capacity to come in and open our perceptions about life.
– Adyashanti, Falling Into Grace
He told the story of being in this small hut, and he said, “To be locked in that small hut for so many years was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It was a great grace, because if it wasn’t for that, I would never have turned within, and I would never have found the freedom that revealed itself there. So I look back at the losing of my legs as one of the most profound and lucky events of my whole life.”
Normally, most of us wouldn’t think that losing the use of our legs would be grace. We have certain ideas about how we want grace to appear. But grace is simply that which opens our hearts, that which has the capacity to come in and open our perceptions about life.
– Adyashanti, Falling Into Grace
ELEVEN VERSES TO SRI ARUNACHALA
1.
Now that by Thy grace Thou hast claimed me,
what will become of me unless Thou manifest Thyself to me, and I, yearning wistfully for Thee,
and harassed by the darkness of the world, and lost?
Oh love, in the shape of Arunachala,
can the lotus blossom without sight of the sun?
Thou art the sun of suns;
Thou causest grace to well up in abundance
and pour forth as a stream!
2.
Arunachala, Thou form of grace itself!
Once having claimed me, loveless though I be,
how canst Thou let me now be lost,
and fail to fill me so with love
that I must pine for Thee unceasingly
and melt within like wax over the fire?
Oh nectar springing up in the Heart of devotees!
Haven of my refuge!
Let Thy pleasure be mine,
for that way lies my joy,
Lord of my life!
3.
Drawing me with the cords of Thy grace,
although I had not even dimly thought of Thee,
Thou didst decide to kill me outright.
How then has one so weak as I offended Thee
that Thou dost leave the task unfinished?
Why dost Thou torture me thus,
keeping me suspended between life and death?
Oh, Arunachala! Fulfill Thy wish,
and long survive me all alone,
Oh Lord!
4.
What did it profit Thee to choose out, me,
from all those struggling in samsara,
to rescue my helpless self from being lost
and hold me at Thy feet?
Lord of the ocean of grace!
Even to think of Thee puts me to shame.
Long mayst Thou live!
I bow my head to Thee and bless Thee!
5.
Lord! Thou didst capture me by stealth
and all these days hast held me at Thy feet!
Lord! Thou hast made me to stand with hanging head,
dumb like an image when asked what is Thy nature.
Lord! Deign to ease me in my weariness,
struggling like a deer that is trapped.
Lord Arunachala! What can be Thy will?
Yet who am I to comprehend Thee?
6.
Lord of my life! I am ever at Thy feet,
like a frog which clings to the stem of the lotus;
make me instead a honeybee which from the blossom of the Heart
sucks the sweet honey of Pure Consciousness;
then shall I have deliverance.
If I am lost while clinging to Thy lotus feet,
it will be for Thee a standing column of ignominy, Oh blazing pillar of light, called Arunachala!
Oh, wide expanse of grace,
more subtle than ether!
7.
Oh pure one! If the five elements, the living beings and every manifest thing is nothing but Thy all-embracing Light, how then can I (alone) be separate from Thee? Since Thou shinest in the Heart, a single expanse without duality, how then can I come forth distinct therefrom? Show Thyself planting Thy lotus feet upon the head of the ego as it emerges!
8. Thou hast withheld from me all knowledge of gradual attainment
while living in the world, and set me at peace;
such care indeed is blissful and not painful to anyone,
for death in life is truly glorious.
Grant me, wasteful and mad for Thee,
the sovereign remedy of clinging to Thy Feet!
9.
Oh Transcendent!
I am the first of those who have not the supreme wisdom
to clasp Thy feet in freedom from attachment.
Ordain Thou that my burden be transferred to Thee
and my freewill effaced, for what indeed can be a burden
to the sustainer of the universe?
Lord Supreme! I have had enough of the fruits
of carrying the burden of this world
upon my head, parted from Thee.
Arunachala, Supreme Self!
Think no more to keep me
at a distance from Thy feet!
10.
I have discovered a new thing!
This hill, the lodestone of lives,
arrests the movements of anyone
who so much as thinks of it,
draws him face to face with it,
and fixes him motionless like itself,
to feed upon his soul thus ripened.
What a wonder is this!
Oh souls! beware of It and live!
Such a destroyer of lives
is this magnificent Arunachala,
which shines within the Heart!
11.
How many are there who have been ruined like me
for thinking this hill to be the supreme?
Oh men who, disgusted with this life of intense misery,
seek a means of giving up the body,
there is on earth a rare drug which,
without actually killing him,
will annihilate anyone who so much as thinks of it.
Know that it is none other than this Arunachala!
- Collected Works
ELEVEN VERSES TO SRI ARUNACHALA
1.
Now that by Thy grace Thou hast claimed me,
what will become of me unless Thou manifest Thyself to me, and I, yearning wistfully for Thee,
and harassed by the darkness of the world, and lost?
Oh love, in the shape of Arunachala,
can the lotus blossom without sight of the sun?
Thou art the sun of suns;
Thou causest grace to well up in abundance
and pour forth as a stream!
2.
Arunachala, Thou form of grace itself!
Once having claimed me, loveless though I be,
how canst Thou let me now be lost,
and fail to fill me so with love
that I must pine for Thee unceasingly
and melt within like wax over the fire?
Oh nectar springing up in the Heart of devotees!
Haven of my refuge!
Let Thy pleasure be mine,
for that way lies my joy,
Lord of my life!
3.
Drawing me with the cords of Thy grace,
although I had not even dimly thought of Thee,
Thou didst decide to kill me outright.
How then has one so weak as I offended Thee
that Thou dost leave the task unfinished?
Why dost Thou torture me thus,
keeping me suspended between life and death?
Oh, Arunachala! Fulfill Thy wish,
and long survive me all alone,
Oh Lord!
4.
What did it profit Thee to choose out, me,
from all those struggling in samsara,
to rescue my helpless self from being lost
and hold me at Thy feet?
Lord of the ocean of grace!
Even to think of Thee puts me to shame.
Long mayst Thou live!
I bow my head to Thee and bless Thee!
5.
Lord! Thou didst capture me by stealth
and all these days hast held me at Thy feet!
Lord! Thou hast made me to stand with hanging head,
dumb like an image when asked what is Thy nature.
Lord! Deign to ease me in my weariness,
struggling like a deer that is trapped.
Lord Arunachala! What can be Thy will?
Yet who am I to comprehend Thee?
6.
Lord of my life! I am ever at Thy feet,
like a frog which clings to the stem of the lotus;
make me instead a honeybee which from the blossom of the Heart
sucks the sweet honey of Pure Consciousness;
then shall I have deliverance.
If I am lost while clinging to Thy lotus feet,
it will be for Thee a standing column of ignominy, Oh blazing pillar of light, called Arunachala!
Oh, wide expanse of grace,
more subtle than ether!
7.
Oh pure one! If the five elements, the living beings and every manifest thing is nothing but Thy all-embracing Light, how then can I (alone) be separate from Thee? Since Thou shinest in the Heart, a single expanse without duality, how then can I come forth distinct therefrom? Show Thyself planting Thy lotus feet upon the head of the ego as it emerges!
8. Thou hast withheld from me all knowledge of gradual attainment
while living in the world, and set me at peace;
such care indeed is blissful and not painful to anyone,
for death in life is truly glorious.
Grant me, wasteful and mad for Thee,
the sovereign remedy of clinging to Thy Feet!
9.
Oh Transcendent!
I am the first of those who have not the supreme wisdom
to clasp Thy feet in freedom from attachment.
Ordain Thou that my burden be transferred to Thee
and my freewill effaced, for what indeed can be a burden
to the sustainer of the universe?
Lord Supreme! I have had enough of the fruits
of carrying the burden of this world
upon my head, parted from Thee.
Arunachala, Supreme Self!
Think no more to keep me
at a distance from Thy feet!
10.
I have discovered a new thing!
This hill, the lodestone of lives,
arrests the movements of anyone
who so much as thinks of it,
draws him face to face with it,
and fixes him motionless like itself,
to feed upon his soul thus ripened.
What a wonder is this!
Oh souls! beware of It and live!
Such a destroyer of lives
is this magnificent Arunachala,
which shines within the Heart!
11.
How many are there who have been ruined like me
for thinking this hill to be the supreme?
Oh men who, disgusted with this life of intense misery,
seek a means of giving up the body,
there is on earth a rare drug which,
without actually killing him,
will annihilate anyone who so much as thinks of it.
Know that it is none other than this Arunachala!
- Collected Works
ELEVEN VERSES TO SRI ARUNACHALA
BHAGAVAN ON SELF-INQUIRY AND VISIONS
Bhagavan: All that is needed is to give up thinking of objects other than the Self. Meditation is not so much thinking of the Self as giving up thinking of the not-Self. When you give up thinking of outward objects and prevent your mind from going outwards and turn it inward and fix it in the Self, the Self alone will remain.
At this point, K.M. Jivrajani interposed, “Has one necessarily to pass through the stage of seeing occult visions before attaining Self-realization?”
Bhagavan: Why do you bother about visions and whether they come or not?
K.M. Jivrajani: I don’t. I only want to know so that I shan’t be disappointed if I don’t have them.
Bhagavan: Visions are not a necessary stage. To some they come and to others, they don’t, but whether they come or not you always exist and you must stick to that.
K.M. Jivrajani: I sometimes concentrate on the brain center and sometimes on the heart — not always on the same center. Is that wrong?
Bhagavan: Wherever you concentrate and on whatever center there must be a 'you' to concentrate, and that is what you must concentrate on. Different people concentrate on different centers, not only the brain and the heart but also the space between the eyebrows, the tip of the nose, the tip of the tongue, the lowermost chakra, and even external objects. Such concentration may lead to a sort of laya in which you will feel a certain bliss, but care must be taken not to lose the thought ‘I Am’ in all this. You never cease to exist in all these experiences.
K.M. Jivrajani: That is to say that I must be a witness?
Bhagavan: Talking of the ‘witness’ should not lead to the idea that there is a witness and something else apart from him that he is witnessing. The ‘witness’ really means the light that illumines the seer, the seen and the process of seeing. Before, during, and after the triads of seer, seen and seeing, the illumination exists. It alone exists always.
Again today a visitor put questions: I do not understand how to make the inquiry ‘Who am I?’
Bhagavan: Find out whence the ‘I’ arises. Self-inquiry does not mean argument or reasoning such as goes on when you say, “I am not this body, I am not the senses,” etc.: all that may also help but it is not the inquiry. Watch and find out where in the body the ‘I’ arises and fix your mind on that.
18. and 19.4.46, Day by Day with Bhagavan
Bhagavan: All that is needed is to give up thinking of objects other than the Self. Meditation is not so much thinking of the Self as giving up thinking of the not-Self. When you give up thinking of outward objects and prevent your mind from going outwards and turn it inward and fix it in the Self, the Self alone will remain.
At this point, K.M. Jivrajani interposed, “Has one necessarily to pass through the stage of seeing occult visions before attaining Self-realization?”
Bhagavan: Why do you bother about visions and whether they come or not?
K.M. Jivrajani: I don’t. I only want to know so that I shan’t be disappointed if I don’t have them.
Bhagavan: Visions are not a necessary stage. To some they come and to others, they don’t, but whether they come or not you always exist and you must stick to that.
K.M. Jivrajani: I sometimes concentrate on the brain center and sometimes on the heart — not always on the same center. Is that wrong?
Bhagavan: Wherever you concentrate and on whatever center there must be a 'you' to concentrate, and that is what you must concentrate on. Different people concentrate on different centers, not only the brain and the heart but also the space between the eyebrows, the tip of the nose, the tip of the tongue, the lowermost chakra, and even external objects. Such concentration may lead to a sort of laya in which you will feel a certain bliss, but care must be taken not to lose the thought ‘I Am’ in all this. You never cease to exist in all these experiences.
K.M. Jivrajani: That is to say that I must be a witness?
Bhagavan: Talking of the ‘witness’ should not lead to the idea that there is a witness and something else apart from him that he is witnessing. The ‘witness’ really means the light that illumines the seer, the seen and the process of seeing. Before, during, and after the triads of seer, seen and seeing, the illumination exists. It alone exists always.
Again today a visitor put questions: I do not understand how to make the inquiry ‘Who am I?’
Bhagavan: Find out whence the ‘I’ arises. Self-inquiry does not mean argument or reasoning such as goes on when you say, “I am not this body, I am not the senses,” etc.: all that may also help but it is not the inquiry. Watch and find out where in the body the ‘I’ arises and fix your mind on that.
18. and 19.4.46, Day by Day with Bhagavan
ANNAMALAI SWAMI REMEMBERED
Building works, part 17
Chinnaswami's managerial style alienated a lot of devotees but as a matter of principle Bhagavan nearly always supported him if he got into any disputes with devotees. Bhagavan himself frequently criticized Chinnaswami but that was prerogative he alone had. The rest of us had to suffer in silence. I remember one incident which illustrates this very well.
A woman once came to have Bhagavan's darshan. Because she was a very shy woman who didn't like eating in the company of men, she ate alone in a separate hut near the dining room. Instead of sending some woman devotee like Sampurnammal to serve food to her, Chinnaswami himself decided to deliver her food and serve it to her. When Bhagavan discovered what was happening he publicly rebuked him: 'Why don't you send one of the women to serve her? Why are you taking her food? She is very shy. She is not accustomed to dealing with strange men.'
Several devotees who had witnessed this scene began to think 'If Bhagavan treats Chinnaswami like this, why should we treat him with any respect?'
In the succeeding days these devotees began to treat Chinnaswami rather badly. Bhagavan observed this in silence for a few days.
When he saw that the disgruntled devotees were not going to change their attitude unless he intervened, he restored the status quo by telling them, 'Do you think that Chinnaswami is a killuk-kiraiai [a small plant which can easily be pulled out of the ground with one's fingernails and thrown away]? Chinnaswami is the sarvadhikari here. You should respect his position and follow his instructions.'
When the work on the cowshed was finally over Chinnaswami wrote to Rangaswami Gounder, the man who had given the cowshed which had been turned into a storeroom.
'We have completed a big cowshed. You can come and yourself. Please don't be angry with us anymore.'
Rangaswami Gounder accepted the invitation and was delighted to see what a big cowshed we had built. He kept his original promise and donated several cows to the ashram.
As he was being shown around the cowshed he remarked.
'When I saw that Chinnaswami had spent my earlier donation on a storeroom instead of a cowshed, I quite naturally got angry with him. I thought that he had wasted all my money. Now that this new cowshed, which is much bigger than the one I had planned, has been built, I am happy and content. Everything has turned out well in the end.'
Chinnaswami was also a happy man. In the closing stages of the work the ashram had received so many donations for the cowshed that there was a lot of money to spare when the work was finally completed. This put Chinnaswami into an unusually exuberant mood.
'Whenever you work for the ashram in future,' he told me, 'get the work done by throwing money wherever it is needed. Bhagavan will provide whatever is needed.'
- Living by the Words of Bhagavan p. 57
Building works, part 17
Chinnaswami's managerial style alienated a lot of devotees but as a matter of principle Bhagavan nearly always supported him if he got into any disputes with devotees. Bhagavan himself frequently criticized Chinnaswami but that was prerogative he alone had. The rest of us had to suffer in silence. I remember one incident which illustrates this very well.
A woman once came to have Bhagavan's darshan. Because she was a very shy woman who didn't like eating in the company of men, she ate alone in a separate hut near the dining room. Instead of sending some woman devotee like Sampurnammal to serve food to her, Chinnaswami himself decided to deliver her food and serve it to her. When Bhagavan discovered what was happening he publicly rebuked him: 'Why don't you send one of the women to serve her? Why are you taking her food? She is very shy. She is not accustomed to dealing with strange men.'
Several devotees who had witnessed this scene began to think 'If Bhagavan treats Chinnaswami like this, why should we treat him with any respect?'
In the succeeding days these devotees began to treat Chinnaswami rather badly. Bhagavan observed this in silence for a few days.
When he saw that the disgruntled devotees were not going to change their attitude unless he intervened, he restored the status quo by telling them, 'Do you think that Chinnaswami is a killuk-kiraiai [a small plant which can easily be pulled out of the ground with one's fingernails and thrown away]? Chinnaswami is the sarvadhikari here. You should respect his position and follow his instructions.'
When the work on the cowshed was finally over Chinnaswami wrote to Rangaswami Gounder, the man who had given the cowshed which had been turned into a storeroom.
'We have completed a big cowshed. You can come and yourself. Please don't be angry with us anymore.'
Rangaswami Gounder accepted the invitation and was delighted to see what a big cowshed we had built. He kept his original promise and donated several cows to the ashram.
As he was being shown around the cowshed he remarked.
'When I saw that Chinnaswami had spent my earlier donation on a storeroom instead of a cowshed, I quite naturally got angry with him. I thought that he had wasted all my money. Now that this new cowshed, which is much bigger than the one I had planned, has been built, I am happy and content. Everything has turned out well in the end.'
Chinnaswami was also a happy man. In the closing stages of the work the ashram had received so many donations for the cowshed that there was a lot of money to spare when the work was finally completed. This put Chinnaswami into an unusually exuberant mood.
'Whenever you work for the ashram in future,' he told me, 'get the work done by throwing money wherever it is needed. Bhagavan will provide whatever is needed.'
- Living by the Words of Bhagavan p. 57
UNDER THE RIGHT TEACHER THE DISCIPLE LEARNS TO LEARN, NOT TO REMEMBER AND OBEY
Each seeker accepts, or invents, a method which suits him, applies it to himself with some earnestness and effort, obtains results according to his temperament and expectations, casts them into the mound of words, builds them into a system, establishes a tradition and begins to admit others into his 'school of Yoga'. It is all built on memory and imagination. No such school is valueless, nor indispensable; in each one can progress up to the point, when all desire for progress must be abandoned to make further progress possible. Then all schools are given up, all effort ceases; in solitude and darkness the last step is made which ends ignorance and fear forever.
The true teacher, however, will not imprison his disciple in a prescribed set of ideas, feelings and actions; on the contrary, he will show him patiently the need to be free from all ideas and set patterns of behavior, to be vigilant and earnest and go with life wherever it takes him, not to enjoy or suffer, but to understand and learn.
Under the right teacher, the disciple learns to learn, not to remember and obey. Satsang, the company of the noble, does not mold, it liberates. Beware of all that makes you dependent. Most of the so-called 'surrenders to the Guru' end in disappointment, if not in tragedy. Fortunately, an earnest seeker will disentangle himself in time, the wiser for the experience.
Q: Surely, self-surrender has its value.
M: Self-surrender is the surrender of all self-concern. It cannot be done, it happens when you realize your true nature. Verbal self-surrender, even when accompanied by feeling, is of little value and breaks down under stress. At best it shows an aspiration, not an actual fact.
- I AM THAT ch 92
Each seeker accepts, or invents, a method which suits him, applies it to himself with some earnestness and effort, obtains results according to his temperament and expectations, casts them into the mound of words, builds them into a system, establishes a tradition and begins to admit others into his 'school of Yoga'. It is all built on memory and imagination. No such school is valueless, nor indispensable; in each one can progress up to the point, when all desire for progress must be abandoned to make further progress possible. Then all schools are given up, all effort ceases; in solitude and darkness the last step is made which ends ignorance and fear forever.
The true teacher, however, will not imprison his disciple in a prescribed set of ideas, feelings and actions; on the contrary, he will show him patiently the need to be free from all ideas and set patterns of behavior, to be vigilant and earnest and go with life wherever it takes him, not to enjoy or suffer, but to understand and learn.
Under the right teacher, the disciple learns to learn, not to remember and obey. Satsang, the company of the noble, does not mold, it liberates. Beware of all that makes you dependent. Most of the so-called 'surrenders to the Guru' end in disappointment, if not in tragedy. Fortunately, an earnest seeker will disentangle himself in time, the wiser for the experience.
Q: Surely, self-surrender has its value.
M: Self-surrender is the surrender of all self-concern. It cannot be done, it happens when you realize your true nature. Verbal self-surrender, even when accompanied by feeling, is of little value and breaks down under stress. At best it shows an aspiration, not an actual fact.
- I AM THAT ch 92
ANNAMALAI SWAMI – FINAL TALKS
'WHEN YOUR BODY IS THE WHOLE UNIVERSE ...'
During sleep, you have no likes and dislikes. Jnanis and babies manage this while they are awake. Baby mind is good; jnani mind is good; 'I am the body' mind is very, very bad.
Question: It's a poisonous thought!
Annamalai Swami: Yes, yes. The 'I am the body' thought is just as poisonous as a cobra. 'All is my Self.' 'All is the nectar of my own Self.' These are the great affirmations that counter the 'I am the body' thought.
Holding on to one of these sayings is the equal of millions of punyas. If we continuously meditate on the truth of these statements, if we hold on to the truth that they are pointing towards, countless punyas will accrue to us.
There are many other mantras, but none are as useful as these. Ribhu Gita says, 'All is one. All is the Self.'
This is the truth that you have to hold onto. To the real ‘I’ nothing is foreign in the entire universe. If you know you are everything, there will be no desire to pursue some things and not others. Do you like or desire your arm more than your foot? When your body is the whole universe, likes, dislikes and desires will be absent.
'WHEN YOUR BODY IS THE WHOLE UNIVERSE ...'
During sleep, you have no likes and dislikes. Jnanis and babies manage this while they are awake. Baby mind is good; jnani mind is good; 'I am the body' mind is very, very bad.
Question: It's a poisonous thought!
Annamalai Swami: Yes, yes. The 'I am the body' thought is just as poisonous as a cobra. 'All is my Self.' 'All is the nectar of my own Self.' These are the great affirmations that counter the 'I am the body' thought.
Holding on to one of these sayings is the equal of millions of punyas. If we continuously meditate on the truth of these statements, if we hold on to the truth that they are pointing towards, countless punyas will accrue to us.
There are many other mantras, but none are as useful as these. Ribhu Gita says, 'All is one. All is the Self.'
This is the truth that you have to hold onto. To the real ‘I’ nothing is foreign in the entire universe. If you know you are everything, there will be no desire to pursue some things and not others. Do you like or desire your arm more than your foot? When your body is the whole universe, likes, dislikes and desires will be absent.
Beings
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